Wednesday, July 24, 2013
January 2013... Another Year
After many months of getting my Progesterone levels tested (this was done via bloodwork on a specific day each month after my menstrual cycle), it had been discovered that I had another issue at hand. On top of my right tube possibly being a hydrosalpinx according to all of the ultrasounds I was having done, I was now being told that I was not ovulating well enough every month. My doctor described it as "your body is very up and down". Basically, some months I ovulated well, some months not so well, and some not at all. This was not what I wanted to hear. I like to try and take care of things naturally, so I knew this issue was not going to be something I liked dealing with... and that meant possibly starting fertility medication.
September 21, 2012 8:31AM Semen Analysis and Post Wash
The semen analysis was a success! This process was extremely easy and quick. We had this done at the Center of Reproductive Medicine. We were both a bit skeptical in regards to how this process worked. Lol They basically take the semen sample from the patient, in this case Miguel, and test it immediately. The post wash that they performed on the semen, simply means that they test it to see how well the sperm survive after a 48 hour period of time, and whether or not they remain in good quality. They also test the motility, volume, and morphology of the semen. After this, they create a report with all of this information, and then grade the semen.
Miguel was graded an A+! This confirmed that Miguel was not the issue at hand in regards to our infertility. It was me, just as I had thought all along. This was just another step in the journey towards our attempt to create a family, and knowing that his semen was healthy and good to go, was definitely a sense of relief.
Miguel was graded an A+! This confirmed that Miguel was not the issue at hand in regards to our infertility. It was me, just as I had thought all along. This was just another step in the journey towards our attempt to create a family, and knowing that his semen was healthy and good to go, was definitely a sense of relief.
Monday, July 22, 2013
The Emotional Rollercoaster (2012)
I was continuing to get my routine testing done. I began to feel such an overwhelming feeling of insecurity and anxiety. It was finally starting to hit me. "I really can't get pregnant" I would leave every doctor's appointment in tears....just sitting in my car. It didn't matter if my mom was with me, or if Miguel was with me... I just couldn't take it anymore. I just kept thinking to myself... "Why won't my body do, the one thing that a woman is suppose to do?!" "What was this going to do to my marriage?" "Can Miguel handle this......handle me?" I couldn't stand it when people would say "Don't think about it so much, it'll happen".... Ughhh
My mind was racing with all of the possibilities. I never thought that I would battle infertility. Never.
I started to confide in my Uncle Curtis a lot. He was my outlet. My Aunt Abby and Uncle Curtis tried to conceive for years, and were unsuccessful. How did they cope? I needed to talk to someone who had experienced this first hand. No one understands how this feels inside unless they have physically and mentally endured this themselves. My Uncle was there for me throughout the entire process. He would tell me how difficult it was going to be and how it would become an emotional rollercoaster. My husband, mother, brother, sister, in-laws, and my closest friends..... the support was unconditional.
My anxiety and depression were getting the best of me at this point. I was having panic attacks so frequently, that I knew that something had to give. I never knew what a panic attack was until one night I thought I was dying of a heart attack...... WORST.FEELING.EVER.
I never let myself lose faith. I prayed.... Alot. I had many sleepless nights just tossing and turning. I went to my doctor for some results one day, and I told him about my anxiety, holding back the tears, and my voice shaking. He asked me if I wanted medication or a recommendation for a therapist. He suggested therapy before medication. I took the therapist name and number..... I never called. I told myself that what I was going through had to be 100% mental. I knew deep down that I was strong enough to get through this on my own. My stepdad raised me to always "suck it up" and keep going. I definitely did not want to disappoint him. I knew that I had to trust my struggle and keep pushing. I didn't need medication... I needed inner strength. This was happening for a reason. I had to trust myself to be strong enough.
The mind is one of the most powerful things I have ever encountered. It can control your entire life, and it does just that. I changed my thinking. I opened up to my family and husband about my anxiety I needed to know that I wasn't alone in this. They could not have been more supportive. Miguel assured me that he would stick by my side, whether we had a baby or not. We were in this together. We made vows to one another and that meant more to us than anything. I decided to re-dedicate myself to the Lord and I was trying to get my mind back on track.
I won that battle with anxiety. I began to do a little bit of yoga, and meditation from time to time. I do get anxious and feel it coming back every now and then, but I fight it. Infertility is one of the most emotional things I've ever gone through, and I've been through a lot. My mom has cried a lot during this journey. I don't think I would have made it this far without her or Miguel. They are my strength. I try not to tell my mom when I'm feeling down, so she won't cry. Every now and then I sit down and cry, or even when I leave a doctor's appointment. It's only natural I think......and I also think that I'm entitled to those feelings. I started to look at the bright side of things. Some people were way worse off than I was. There are kids dying out there, and I'm here crying because I can't get pregnant. This was going to be a part of Miguel and I's journey. We would have a story to tell. I kept telling myself that this was happening for a reason. There was a divine purpose for this journey that I was on. I had 2 choices.. I could spend my days sad and feeling sorry for myself, or enjoy the journey and create a beautiful story.
My mind was racing with all of the possibilities. I never thought that I would battle infertility. Never.
I started to confide in my Uncle Curtis a lot. He was my outlet. My Aunt Abby and Uncle Curtis tried to conceive for years, and were unsuccessful. How did they cope? I needed to talk to someone who had experienced this first hand. No one understands how this feels inside unless they have physically and mentally endured this themselves. My Uncle was there for me throughout the entire process. He would tell me how difficult it was going to be and how it would become an emotional rollercoaster. My husband, mother, brother, sister, in-laws, and my closest friends..... the support was unconditional.
My anxiety and depression were getting the best of me at this point. I was having panic attacks so frequently, that I knew that something had to give. I never knew what a panic attack was until one night I thought I was dying of a heart attack...... WORST.FEELING.EVER.
I never let myself lose faith. I prayed.... Alot. I had many sleepless nights just tossing and turning. I went to my doctor for some results one day, and I told him about my anxiety, holding back the tears, and my voice shaking. He asked me if I wanted medication or a recommendation for a therapist. He suggested therapy before medication. I took the therapist name and number..... I never called. I told myself that what I was going through had to be 100% mental. I knew deep down that I was strong enough to get through this on my own. My stepdad raised me to always "suck it up" and keep going. I definitely did not want to disappoint him. I knew that I had to trust my struggle and keep pushing. I didn't need medication... I needed inner strength. This was happening for a reason. I had to trust myself to be strong enough.
The mind is one of the most powerful things I have ever encountered. It can control your entire life, and it does just that. I changed my thinking. I opened up to my family and husband about my anxiety I needed to know that I wasn't alone in this. They could not have been more supportive. Miguel assured me that he would stick by my side, whether we had a baby or not. We were in this together. We made vows to one another and that meant more to us than anything. I decided to re-dedicate myself to the Lord and I was trying to get my mind back on track.
I won that battle with anxiety. I began to do a little bit of yoga, and meditation from time to time. I do get anxious and feel it coming back every now and then, but I fight it. Infertility is one of the most emotional things I've ever gone through, and I've been through a lot. My mom has cried a lot during this journey. I don't think I would have made it this far without her or Miguel. They are my strength. I try not to tell my mom when I'm feeling down, so she won't cry. Every now and then I sit down and cry, or even when I leave a doctor's appointment. It's only natural I think......and I also think that I'm entitled to those feelings. I started to look at the bright side of things. Some people were way worse off than I was. There are kids dying out there, and I'm here crying because I can't get pregnant. This was going to be a part of Miguel and I's journey. We would have a story to tell. I kept telling myself that this was happening for a reason. There was a divine purpose for this journey that I was on. I had 2 choices.. I could spend my days sad and feeling sorry for myself, or enjoy the journey and create a beautiful story.
May 15, 2012 9:41:28AM
I went in for my routine Transvaginal Ultrasound. My uterus looked normal as it had in the past studies. :) At least I had one team player still going strong. There was a dilated fluid-filled tube in the right adnexal region. My right ovary was still cystic. It was hard to distinguish the from the dilated tube considering their close proximity to one another. Although difficult to see, there was a 2.5cm cyst on my right ovary with a single septation. (This meant that the cyst was problematic, and contained both solid and liquid components.)
The right tube was being called a hydrosalpinx. This was not confirmed in the two most recent studies, due to the absence of fluid.
I was ready to take the next step. Throughout this whole process I wanted to keep things as natural as possible. My body was not cooperating. At this point, we needed to get Miguel's sperm checked. My doctor had mentioned getting this done several times before, but I kept pushing it back. I was almost 100% sure he wasn't the problem. Considering that Miguel works in such hot environments, this was a slight concern, because it's not healthy for the sperm. I still didn't think this was the issue. We needed to rule him out of the problem before I would undergo any further testing.
The right tube was being called a hydrosalpinx. This was not confirmed in the two most recent studies, due to the absence of fluid.
I was ready to take the next step. Throughout this whole process I wanted to keep things as natural as possible. My body was not cooperating. At this point, we needed to get Miguel's sperm checked. My doctor had mentioned getting this done several times before, but I kept pushing it back. I was almost 100% sure he wasn't the problem. Considering that Miguel works in such hot environments, this was a slight concern, because it's not healthy for the sperm. I still didn't think this was the issue. We needed to rule him out of the problem before I would undergo any further testing.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
January 24, 2012 8:18:37AM
As time went on, I continued to get monitored. I even got on birth control for some time to attempt to get rid of the cyst. Miguel and I moved to Los Angeles for a year, and I remember being at work one afternoon and having some very uncomfortable abdominal pain. I knew exactly what this pain was. Its a discomfort unlike anything else. There was no way I had another cyst while on birth control. That was the whole reason I got on the birth control in the first place! I made an appt to get checked as soon as possible. My biggest fear was getting another infection. Sure enough, I had a cyst... even while on birth control. This was such a bummer. :( I felt like it was going to be a never-ending problem. I got my first cyst in 7th grade, and it just seemed like nothing was ever going to change. This was really starting to affect me now. Was it ever going to just go away, or would I be dealing with this for the rest of my life. Unfortunately I don't have every single report from every ultrasound or blood work done. I would be here forever! Every month was different. It seemed like nothing was ever consistent with my body.
During this particular ultrasound they found what is called a Nabothian cyst. These are small cysts on the cervix, and they are typically not harmful. They are actually quite common. Moving along......My right ovary that previously had a simple cyst developing, now either had a complex or hemorrhagic cyst. Ughh... Also found was a smaller paraovarian cyst. These are usually small and are usually found near the fallopian tube and/or ovary, but are never attached to them. The radiologist noted that this could possibly be the previous cyst that I had on my right ovary, or a new one that had developed. It was hard to distinguish. But looking on the bright side of things, there actually was good news with this ultrasound! The previous complex cyst that I had on my left ovary, was gone! :) There were no cyst found on my left side at all. (My right side was always the problem area anyway, so this didn't surprise me.) With all that being said, the radiologist suggested that I continued to get monitored.
During this particular ultrasound they found what is called a Nabothian cyst. These are small cysts on the cervix, and they are typically not harmful. They are actually quite common. Moving along......My right ovary that previously had a simple cyst developing, now either had a complex or hemorrhagic cyst. Ughh... Also found was a smaller paraovarian cyst. These are usually small and are usually found near the fallopian tube and/or ovary, but are never attached to them. The radiologist noted that this could possibly be the previous cyst that I had on my right ovary, or a new one that had developed. It was hard to distinguish. But looking on the bright side of things, there actually was good news with this ultrasound! The previous complex cyst that I had on my left ovary, was gone! :) There were no cyst found on my left side at all. (My right side was always the problem area anyway, so this didn't surprise me.) With all that being said, the radiologist suggested that I continued to get monitored.
July 25, 2011 Blood Work & Results
My doctor ordered that I have blood work done to test several things that could possibly be affecting me while I was trying to get pregnant:
First, my Progesterone level. For the Progesterone test, you have to schedule it on a specific day of the month after your menstrual cycle to get the most accurate results. The Progesterone level shows whether or not you are ovulating. That number needs to be above a 5. If it is any lower than a 5, then you did not ovulate that particular month. It's one of those things where it can't be too low or too high.
The Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) test is a blood test to check your thyroid and make sure it is not under active or over active, also known as hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism. Abnormal levels can seriously affect you when you are trying to get pregnant.
Another blood test done was my Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH) or Mullerian Inhibiting Substance (MIS) to test my ovarian reserve.
RESULTS ARE IN!!
Progesterone Level- 4.5 (Below Normal)
TSH Level- 1.390 (Normal Thyroids .360-3.740)
AMH/MIH- 5.55 ng/mL (Normal Reserve Count)
There it is... another issue. I didn't ovulate that particular month. Before jumping straight into fertility medication for low Progesterone, we decided to keep testing it to ensure accuracy and consistency. Was I not ovulating every month, or was it fluctuating? Not only that, I can't stop thinking about my scarred fallopian tubes. How can this even be happening....
First, my Progesterone level. For the Progesterone test, you have to schedule it on a specific day of the month after your menstrual cycle to get the most accurate results. The Progesterone level shows whether or not you are ovulating. That number needs to be above a 5. If it is any lower than a 5, then you did not ovulate that particular month. It's one of those things where it can't be too low or too high.
The Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) test is a blood test to check your thyroid and make sure it is not under active or over active, also known as hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism. Abnormal levels can seriously affect you when you are trying to get pregnant.
Another blood test done was my Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH) or Mullerian Inhibiting Substance (MIS) to test my ovarian reserve.
RESULTS ARE IN!!
Progesterone Level- 4.5 (Below Normal)
TSH Level- 1.390 (Normal Thyroids .360-3.740)
AMH/MIH- 5.55 ng/mL (Normal Reserve Count)
There it is... another issue. I didn't ovulate that particular month. Before jumping straight into fertility medication for low Progesterone, we decided to keep testing it to ensure accuracy and consistency. Was I not ovulating every month, or was it fluctuating? Not only that, I can't stop thinking about my scarred fallopian tubes. How can this even be happening....
The first Hysterosalpingogram results are in!
The catheter in place, before contrast has been injected.
The contrast fully injected and the tubes being shown, as well as spillage.
The test detected that I had a normal uterus. There was early filling of the right tube and spillage into the peritoneal cavity. This suggests that the right tube was open! The right tube appeared mildly dilated distally. There was delayed filling of the left tube. The left tube contour was slightly irregular suggesting scarring. Spillage from the left tube was identified as well... Open as well!! In other words, or for a better understanding... Both of my tubes were open!! The contrast in my left tube did not spill over as quick as the right tube due to scar tissue. When I had the infected cyst back in 2008, the infection went through my fallopian tubes, thus slightly damaging them with scar tissue. Because of this, my doctor didn't think that the sperm could get through my left tube fast enough due to the scar tissue, thus not allowing me to get pregnant on the left side as easily. With that being said, I would have to use my right tube and "lean to the right" to continue trying to get pregnant.
The contrast fully injected and the tubes being shown, as well as spillage.
The test detected that I had a normal uterus. There was early filling of the right tube and spillage into the peritoneal cavity. This suggests that the right tube was open! The right tube appeared mildly dilated distally. There was delayed filling of the left tube. The left tube contour was slightly irregular suggesting scarring. Spillage from the left tube was identified as well... Open as well!! In other words, or for a better understanding... Both of my tubes were open!! The contrast in my left tube did not spill over as quick as the right tube due to scar tissue. When I had the infected cyst back in 2008, the infection went through my fallopian tubes, thus slightly damaging them with scar tissue. Because of this, my doctor didn't think that the sperm could get through my left tube fast enough due to the scar tissue, thus not allowing me to get pregnant on the left side as easily. With that being said, I would have to use my right tube and "lean to the right" to continue trying to get pregnant.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)