Each Scar Has A Story To Tell

As I prepare myself for my next surgery, I can't help but look down at my 3 little scars.  The more they healed the smaller they became.  They each have a story to tell.  Little did they know they were about to be re-opened.

Prepping for Surgery

You don't know how strong you are, until being strong is all you have.....  prepping for surgery.

Surgery #2 Date!

                                      Surgery is scheduled for March 14, 2014!

What led to that November 1st Appointment

I forgot to previously post about my ovulation testing after my first surgery was complete.  I started to track my ovulation once I got the all clear from my doctor to start trying again and doing routine bloodowork to track my progesterone.  I was sooooo excited.  I had opted to start trying naturally, without fertility drugs.  This was my ultimate goal in all of this, so I was excited to see what the outcome would be!  I knew that it could take some time for it to happen, but I was excited to be off any sort of medications, and ready to go again.   

              First Month of Ovulation Predictor Kits and Pregnancy Tests post surgery!

 

No success with Month One.  On to Month Two!

 

   

 Shortly after this, the cyst I had became complex.  With that being said, I had been instructed to stop trying and get back on birth control.  It seems like everytime I get 3 steps ahead, and it seems like pregnancy is closer than ever......I get pushed 5 steps back.  

Note:  

 I wanted to post these pictures, even if they are out of sequence.  This is what led to me finding out about my cyst's continuous development, and then proceeded to me scheduling my next surgery. (So you don't get confused)

 

February 23, 2014: 2nd Annual Texas Walk of Hope!

The day had come for the 2nd Annual Texas Walk of Hope!  I had first heard about the Walk of Hope in 2013, and it was the very first year they were doing it.  Finally a walk for infertility!  I really really wanted to go in 2013, but I was out of town on the date that it was scheduled.  I told myself I would make it to the one in 2014.  When RESOLVE finally made the announcement with the dates, I marked my calendar and started to spread the word to my friends and family.  I was so excited to be surrounded by my loved ones on this special day, alongside other couples who are struggling and even those who have become successful and beat infertility. 
    
     I started a page on RESOLVE's website to promote my team.  We would be called Team Hope & Happiness!  I set a goal to raise $500 via donations that was open to the public.  I would just talk about it on Facebook and Instagram and people started to donate!  We ended up raising a grand total of $725!!  Whoo hoo!!!  We were one of the largest teams also!!  The night before the walk, I was super excited.  Special friends and family came over and helped me to add our team name to our shirts, and make posters.  It was so much fun.  After we finished the shirts, I rolled them up like burritos, tied them with a ribbon, and put a little piece of paper with the person's name, for whom that shirt belonged to.  

    The morning of the walk the weather was warm, muggy and foggy.  But we didn't care because we were going to walk rain or shine!  Kaia got an orange bandana and an orange ribbon spray painted on her :)  One of my favorite parts of the walk was the balloon release.  When you signed in, you were given a ticket to receive a balloon.  On your balloon, you were to write your hopes on it.  Everyone later released all their balloons at once.  It was such a beautiful moment.  So many hopes of family and friends were being released.  There were even these large stickers to wear that said "I'm walking for ___________", and you filled in the blank.  There was a little baby wearing a sticker that said, "I'm walking so others can have a miracle like me."  You would see couples walking with new twins.  You know they did infertility.    It was great being able to walk with my fertility clinic, including my doctor.  We are all in it together and they are always so supportive.  They were absolutely stunned and happy at the amount of people that came out to walk with Miguel and I.  Everyone just kept saying, "Wow you guys have such a huge support system!"  We are very blessed :) 

     Between the fertility clinic's support, the donations, and my family and friends coming out to support us.... I was overwhelmed.  I never quite realized how many people were truly rooting for us.  With infertility, you can get so caught up in your own thoughts, that you forget how many people really love you.  They want this just as bad, as if it were their own battle.  That is love.  Miguel and I are so very blessed to have the support system that we have.    

ThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYouThankYouThankY
                                        

                                          No one with infertility should walk alone.

  
                                                               The Team!   

 

                                    
                                        The hubby and I with our fertility doctor!

                                    
                                          My baby supporting her mom and dad

                                               
                                                 My baby sister Jerrica and I

                 How amazing that a great friend I haven't seen in years came out to support us

                                                                                                        My In-Laws

 

Daily Motivation #18

Moving Forward & Inspiration

     I was about to leave that appointment with such a weight on my shoulders and a heavy heart.  I knew I just had to keep things moving because I didn't have a choice but to be strong.  It's all I had left in me.  I had almost forgot that before I left the office that day, one of the girls in the marketing department wanted to meet me.  Her name was Angelica.  So before I left, we met in an office.  She is one of the sweetest, most kind, and warm-hearted person I've ever met.  She told me that the clinic would like to sponsor all of my teams shirts for the upcoming Texas Walk of Hope.  It was a walk for infertility that I had registered for and had been promoting to all of my friends and family to participate in whether it be by walking, or making a donation.  This was so exciting!  Not only that, they would like me to host one of their Support Group meetings during Infertility Awareness Week in April.  It is basically an open atmosphere for couples to share their stories about their struggles with infertility, and they wanted me of all people to lead the group!  To top it off, they wanted to feature my blog on the Center of Reproductive Medicine's website!!! Angelica said that she had read my entire blog and she just absolutely loved it. They thought that what I was doing by sharing my story was so inspirational and could help others who are struggling as well.  There are many people who are in the infertility closet.  Let me tell you, it takes ALOT to get out of that space.  I chose to share my story because it was an outlet for me to relieve the pressure of this journey, but mostly to help others who are still struggling privately.  It has been a release for me.  Through all of this, I never thought that my fertility clinic would jump on board with me and help me, to help others. Before leaving the room, Angelica gave me a book that they gave away at their last support group meeting.  It was called "Love & Infertility". 

     When I finally left the doctor's office, Olivia and I went to Starbucks for some coffee and to talk about things.  Sitting at the bar, drinking our coffee, I looked up to find inspiration staring me right in the face.  There was a napkin pinned to a bulletin board with these words written on it.... "Take What You Need".   Hanging from the napkin were little sticks for you to choose from.  They were: Love, Direction, Strength....and the others had already been taken by people who had previously came across this piece of inspiration.  I chose STRENGTH.  It was exactly what I needed at that exact moment.  I don't think it was a coincidence.  I was meant to find this little stick of strength.  From that moment on, I had hope.  

    This journey is painful.  Emotionally and physically.  After years and years of tests, surgeries, procedures, blood work, medications, and more... you don't know how much more you can take.  I honestly think that I was put in this situation for multiple reasons, and one of those reasons is to help others. I was meant to reach out and help others, even if they are privately struggling.  I can be their outlet and their release.  I can be their little stick of strength when they need it most.