Saturday, May 3, 2008

The pain that woke me up from a dead sleep that next morning was absolutely excruciating.   I was home alone, and curled up in fetal position unable to move.  I was crying so hard, that I could barely get the strength to call my mom.  I had to tell her that I needed her help asap.  What was going on??  I had been getting ovarian cysts since about the 7th grade, but none of them had ever caused pain like this.  The pain was just was unbearable, and I just didn't know what it could possibly be.  What could possibly cause this much pain??  

                           The hospital would then become my home for the next 5 days. 

Friday, May 2, 2008

  I was doing makeup for the Kanye West afterparty at a Houston night club.  Once I finished doing makeup for all the models, I was free to do as I pleased.  I remember feeling slightly ill, like maybe I was coming down with a UTI or something.  All I wanted to do was go home, because I just knew that something wasn't right. 

Daily Motivation #1

Create Awareness

My original plan was to keep my fight with infertility private.  I know I am strong, but the emotional roller coaster is a lot to keep inside... Almost unbearable.    I do have a HUGE support system with my amazing husband, select family and select friends that I opened up to.  While slowing opening up to the people around me, I couldn't help but think of others struggling as well, and how they must be feeling alone and helpless.  I kept thinking, "If I have to make myself vulnerable and open to the world, in order to inspire and encourage others struggling as well, then I will."  

Writing is my release...I just hope reading this will be theirs.  <3

Current Status as of May 2013

 I'm 28 years old.  My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over 2 1/2 years.  No pregnancies.  I went through several rounds of Clomid (50mg) and Premarin, with no success.  I am now currently waiting for surgery.  My right fallopian tube was diagnosed as a large hydrosalpinx, with cysts on both ovaries.  (The hyrdosalpinx is a closed fallopian tube that is dilated and filled with fluid.)  The fluids inside the tube are toxic and they are spilling back into my uterus, creating a toxic environment for the egg and sperm.  Nothing can survive in that atmosphere....Embryos can't develop because the sperm and egg don't even get a chance to meet.  The surgery I am going to have is called a Salpingectomy. The surgery is approximately 2 hours long with 3 different incisions. They will be removing my right fallopian tube completely. After the surgery is complete, I will be left with just my left fallopian tube and left ovary to try and conceive with.  The fertility specialist believe that I may also have to get back on the fertility medications after surgery in order to continue trying to conceive.  

So that is where I am today, now let's start where it all began....

                                                  And this is where it all begins...