A Month Away From TTC

     We decided to have a getaway while we were on a break from TTC.  We headed to Helen, Georgia for a huge car event called SOWO.  It was exactly what we needed.  It is so peaceful and beautiful out in the mountains, and lots of fun with friends.  We needed a break from reality.  This was a chance for me to feel like a normal human being again.  Not worrying about what medication I would be injecting or swallowing, at any given time.  Not thinking about when my next ultrasound would be.... or when they would need to draw the next tube of blood.  

It was just me and my hubby loving life, and each other...  

 

 

 

  

 

May 13, 2013: Taking a Break

Taking a break from the madness this month. I need it. In the meantime we will be relaxing and preparing for IVF.

May 10, 2014: Another Failed Cycle

     The shots ended up getting administered at work because of the times I had to do them.  I always made a co-worker do it.  

     When it was time for the ultrasound to check out the follicles, everything was looking great! We had 2 pretty big follicles ready to go!  I had the choice of continuing through an IUI or through intercourse at this point.  I chose to do the intercourse route so that we could try to keep things as natural as possible.  The doctor gave us specific dates to have intercourse once all the drugs were administered and the follicles were just right, and we had triggered.  

    I was sooo excited.  This could be it!! The moment we had been waiting for!  We had to wait quite a while before I could get my beta (pregnancy) test done.  I remember I was working at the shop with the hubby that day.  I was so nervous.  Anytime my phone would make a noise, I would get butterflies.  Finally the call we had been waiting for!!!!!!

                                                          NEGATIVE
     Another failed cycle.  I was crushed.  I just didn't want to keep putting myself through this mentally and physically.  It was just becoming too much to deal with.  Why didn't I get pregnant?  Everything was done perfectly.   Was this just not meant to be?   I cried for most of the day.  My next appointment was set, and I was scheduled to consult with my doctor once again....

 

May 2, 2014: Progesterone Check!

It was time to get my progesterone checked!! I was almost done with this cycle, and my beta was coming in about 8 days and I couldn't wait!!  My results came back that my Progesterone was at level 15, which was high enough to support a pregnancy!  Whoohoo!!!

April 30th: Inside the Cath Lab: Part 2

     The time had come.  I was wheeled into the Cath Lab.  No wonder this procedure is so damn expensive.  The amount of people in the room and the room itself was something I had never seen before.  The technology was unbelievable.  They had the room which was filled with all sort of monitoring devices and a metal type bed attached to it all.  Then there was a separate room for most of the medical staff to work in so they would not exposed to the radiation that would be used.  So at this point I still have not had any sort of medication to calm my nerves.  You would think you would get a little something! They ask me to slide on over onto the table where the procedure would take place.  Once I am all situated on the narrow, metal table, I sit up on the table so they can putting the "mapping" stickers all over my back.  They are large, freezing cold stickers, that they place all over you, so the doctor can map out where the catheters are going and those sorts of things.   Once they have completed that, they had me lay down and secured my arms down by my side.  The bed is small, and has a clear thing on the right side, so you can't roll off.  Still, no medication.  Finally the doctor walks in ready to go.  I was like.... "Ummmm is anyone going to give me something to calm down before he starts?!"  Lol.  The nurse repsonded that they would shortly.   

     They had music playing in the room.  Dr. Razavi asked me what I wanted to listen to, but I was so nervous that I didn't care what was playing.  He said he hated country so he would pick the music.  I laughed and told him that was fine with me.  They seemed to be having a good ol' time in there.  It helped to lighten the mood a bit of me being absolutely and completely terrified.  Finally, the nurse dosed me with something.  She told me that she would be sitting behind me, behind a clear glass, in case I needed anything, and that she would be coming to check on me periodically.  She couldn't be exposed to the radiation either, so she couldn't stand by my side during the procedure.  Next....the procedure began.  I remember telling Dr. Razavi that I could feel the drugs.  I felt good. 

      They clean both groin areas on my inner thighs where the catheters would be inserted.  The doctor put a shot in my legs that felt like a wasp sting, to numb the areas for the catheters.  Once the area was numb, they made two tiny little slits and put the catheters inside.  It was such a weird feeling.  I could feel the catheters in my legs until they got further up into my chest area.  It felt like a weird pressure.  During this procedure, the catheters have electrical impulses on the tips, so they can start up your SVT.  Mine didn't need any help.  My SVT triggered the minute the catheters entered my heart.  This is where I began to freak out.  Big Time.  They hadn't given me enough drugs. Lol.  I began to tell the doctor that I was having an episode.  They assured me that everything was ok and they were cotrolling everything.  This is exactly what they needed to fix me.  They dosed me again to calm me some more.  

     While I am having an episode, the doctor is look at a 4-D image of my heart on the monitors.  You can also see an X-Ray shot of your heart with the catheters in it.  It's quite amazing to be awake and watch all of this being done.  He guides the catheters to where they need to be.  There is a guy in the other glass room that he is talking to while this is happening.  They find the cell that is triggering the episode and the doctor yells, "Tachycardia! Tachycardia!! You see it?!  There it is!  Burn Burn Burn!!"  While this is happening, I can feel burning in the center of my chest and it slowly spreads out.  Then the doctors yells, "Stop!"  Him and the other guy continue to communicate throughout the entire procedure.  They continue to do this until the cells are all burned that were causing the SVT to occur.  

     Every now and then the nurse would come to check on me.  I kept looking back at her with terror in my eyes.  This was by far the scariest thing I had ever been through.  I was still panicking.  The doctor told the staff "Hold, on I need to talk to her".   He told me that I needed to stay calm and still, or he will have to basically put me to sleep.  They drugged me once more.  Before I knew it, it was all over.  All of the episodes, burning in the chest, the commotion.  It was done.  I did it!  I was 98% cured.  By this time I was in and out of it.  They had kept drugging me and I was barely starting to feel it.  A little late right?!  The doctor told me that I could go on and continue with the big plans that I had ahead.  (Making a baby)  I managed to mumble a question.."What are the chances of this ever coming back?"  He said "2%", with a big smile as he exited the room, to prepare for the next case.  I had the biggest smile on my face.  The nurses came, to put pressure on the sites where my catheters were.  One of them told me it went great.  The doctor kept trying to trigger the SVT and it never came back.  I couldn't believe this was all behind me now.  

     They wheeled me out to my family so I can go to a room for recovery.  I had the biggest smile on my face and gave them a thumbs up.  :)  In recovery, you have to lay there without moving your legs or head for 4 hours, due to the catheter sites being open.  They instructed me that my heart may have some skipped beats and flutters for the next several weeks, due to being agitated from the procedure, but I was a happy girl.  GoodBye SVT!!!

They said that I didn't need a follow-up appointment.  I was good to go at this point.  I had been cured.  The procedure didn't even take that long.  I think my anxiety helped to trigger things. Lol  Several weeks had gone by but I felt like I couldn't go on, without seeing Dr. Razavi and thanking him myself.  I was too drugged to say anything to him that day.  I scheduled and appointment and went back to see him once more.   He told me that the flutters and hard beats that I feel occasionally, are normal. He told me that everyone's heart skips about 200 beats a day, but they don't feel it.  I do, due to what I had and being more in tune with mine.  He put me at ease, and said that if something were to happen, it would have already happened.  He told me to go act my age and live my life! I hugged him and thanked him for changing my life.  What an incredible experience and what a weight lifted off of my shoulders!

 

 

 

April 30, 2014: My Catheter Ablation to Cure SVT Before Pregnancy: Part 1

It was April 30, 2014 and it was ablation day!!  I barely slept the night before.  I mean. Dr. Razavi did brief me on how this procedure would take place, but still...when you think of anything being done to your heart, it is TERRIFYING!!  Especially because I knew that I would be awake for the entire procedure. I watched a few testimonies on YouTube, just to see what other people had to say and see what the procedure was like.  There weren't many videos of the actual procedure being done.  The testimonials of others helped a tiny bit though.  I had also been researching Dr. Razavi as well as St. Luke's Hospital in the Texas Medical Center, and that put me at ease a bit.  I mean I had only met this doctor one time when I had to make my decision quite fast, due to being in the middle of a fertility cycle.  Who does that?!  I had a feeling I knew I would be in good hands..

My mom and I headed out early that morning, and my stepdad was going to meet us there.  (Miguel would be meeting us later, due to having to work.)  We got there about an hour early and sat in the lobby before even thinking about going into the 6th floor Cath Lab waiting area.  My mom kept telling me that we should just go check in early but I refused.  There was no way I was going up there just yet.  I sat there talking with my parents, shaking from nerves and fear.  I just really didn't know what I was in for.  I hated being drugged, and I was having something done to my heart for goodness sake.  My heart!!!!  Time went by so fast.  Before I knew it, it was time to head to the 6th floor to check in. 

So I headed up to the 6th floor where the Cath Lab was located.  I had heard that the Cath Lab was pretty amazing so I was anxious to see what this room looked like.  I checked in. Shaking.  I did all of my paperwork and billing stuff.  They put a patient tracking device on me.  They must have known I was thinking about running out of that place! Lol.  I was sitting with my parents, and I saw Dr. Razavi walk by.  He kindly came over to meet my parents and answered their questions.  He said that with me, he was expecting to be done quickly and I would be ready to rock-n-roll. This made me feel good. I went to sit back down with my parents, and before I knew it, they were calling my name.  I felt a little better seeing the doctor so I wasn't extremely nervous at the moment.  I went back by myself at that time.  They wanted to get me all set up and changed into my hospital gown.  I was placed in a temporary "holding" room.  There was another patient in there also waiting for a procedure.  I changed into my hospital gown and just laid there.  Scared.  They still wouldn't let my parents back there with me.  The nurse came in FINALLY.  She was very nice.   Everyone at that hospital was very nice.  She went through my medical history with me and started my IV.  She laughed as she took my vitals because my heart was beating so fast.  She said that they wouldn't have any issues triggering my SVT.  I kept telling her how scared I was and she helped ease my nerves.  She told me how great Dr. Razavi was as well as his team.  The one thing that stuck with me was when she said, "This is going to be one of the best decisions you will ever make in your life."  She had similar experience with SVT, as well as other heart problems, and she wishes she would have known the things that I knew at the time.  I just knew I had to do this.  I didn't want to live on meds the rest of my life.  There was no way.

Finally my parents came in the room.  What a relief!  We talked and my stepdad helped me to meditate.  We didn't quite know how long the wait would be before they called me back.  They kept coming in and telling us different times that they may be calling me.  You see, with ablations, it can take 90 min to several hours.  So with that being said, they didn't know when the doctors case before me would be finished.  The nurse came in and said that it may be another couple of hours before they call me.  Fifteen minutes later she came back and said, it's looking like they may call you in about 30 minutes.  The next thing you know they called for me.  I wasn't prepared.  My stepdad had stepped out to smoke a cigarette at that time and I freaked out.  I told the nurse she couldn't take me unless my stepdad was with me.  She kindly waited so I could call him, and he came rushing in.  

My parents walked me down the hallway until they wheeled me to these double doors where we had to say goodbye to eachother.  I mean geeezzz they can't drug you at least a little bit during this time to calm the nerves??  I lost it saying goodbye to them.  I was shaking so much because I was so scared.  I even almost triggered an SVT attack.  Sure enough Dr. Razavi walked by again and saw me crying.  He came and gave me a hug and said, "Don't worry.  I promise you that everything is going to be ok".  I liked my doctor.  He calmed me a bit, once again.  At that point we went through the double doors.  

They placed my bed in a waiting area with TONS of other patients.  More waiting.  The anticipation is a killer.  All of the other patients were all pretty old.  Waiting for ablations for other reasons and pace makers.  Everyone who walked by made a comment to me about being there at such a young age.  They did a pregnancy test on my while I was waiting there which came out negative.  I was bummed, of course, considering there was a chance I could be pregnant at that time.  I continued to lay there waiting.  A young nurse came by and asked me if I was ok, and I told her no.  I began to cry and explained to her how terrified I was.  She explained to me that I didn't need the sedation if I didn't want it.  It is just to keep you calm, considering how nerve wrecking it can be laying on that table for the procedure for such a long period of time.  She also explained how simple and non-invasive the procedure is and not to worry.  I felt a bit better, but I was still scared.  I concentrated on my breathing until it was my turn to get called back to the cath lab.  I also told her that I wanted just enough drugs to calm my nerves, and that was it.  Sure enough, it was now go time!!

Meeting Dr. Mehdi Razavi: My Electrophysiologist

I had talked more in depth with my fertility doctor about everything going on in regards to my heart and he said not to be concerned.  He had previously dealt with patients who had SVT and they would probably just talk to me about taking some Beta Blockers throughout my pregnancy.

The day had come for me to finally meet with my Electrophysiologist.  His name was Dr. Mehdi Razavi.  I was shaking because I was so scared of what may come of this appointment.  I explained to him everything that had happened in my past, and with the previous doctor appointments, and what eventually led me to him.  So he had me explain to him what these episodes were like and how I can break them on my own.  I also explained to him the triggers that caused these episodes to occur.  His faced lit up with excitement as I described these things.  He said "You have textbook SVT.  Wow you are little too in tuned with your body!" 

He said that I would need to get this taken care of eventually.  Dr. Ali had said that if I would have waited until I was 50 or 60 years of age to get this checked, it could have been dangerous.  We talked about what to do from here.  They of course did an EKG and that came back normal, just as they always did.  They could have done a 30 day monitor to try to catch an episode, since one had never been recorded, but we knew what we were dealing with essentially.  So he told me that there were 3 different medications that I could take to help with the SVT.  Then..... I dropped the pregnancy bomb on him.  I told him that there was a chance that I could be pregnant and I needed to know what options were best for me at this time.  The look on his face changed instantly.  He said in his experience with SVT, it gets WORSE with pregnancy.  Most people don't even know they have SVT until they become pregnant, and I was lucky enough to catch it before pregnancy.  The pressure of the pregnancy starts to trigger the SVT episodes to occur, without me even attempting to trigger it.  The problem with this is that you cannot take the medications needed to treat the SVT while you are pregnant.  Only Beta Blockers, and that is not enough.  The other two medications needed can cause extreme deformities to the baby.  He said it would be like trying to help me with his hands tied behind his back.  The cure, and only other option, would be to have a catheter ablation done.  I had already had a feeling this would be the case, considering all I had been doing was googling the cure since I'd had left Dr. Ali's office.  He said that there would be less than a 7% chance that I would need a pacemaker and this should be the thing that cures it for good! We talked about how high the success rates were and all the benefits and risks that came along with it.  

I had to ask him the one question that I was so afraid to know... Could this kill me?  He said NO!  Oh my goodness, I couldn't be more relieved.  I would not drop dead like those basketball players and soccer players.  This would not cause cardiac arrest....but it needed to be taken care of eventually.

Here's the catch....  Since there was a chance I could be pregnant, we needed to act and we needed to act fast.  You can get a catheter ablation done while you are pregnant, but not until later in the 3rd trimester.  Who would want to put themselves in that type of situation?  He told me to think about it and let him know within a day or so.  He also offered to talk to my fertility doctor so they could discuss the situation and be in agreeance with what was going on.  

I left his office in tears of panic.  How was I going to make this type of decision in like 24 hours!?  I called my step dad and he calmed me down, as always.  My fertility doctor called me from his cell phone also to find out what was going on.  I could talk to him like a friend, so I told him how much I was freaking out and everything the doctor had said.  I must have been talking a hundred miles a minute with my voice shaking, as I fought back the tears.  He said that he would talk to Dr. Razavi, but he agreed that it would be best to get it taken care of.  He said..."You know, deep down, what you need to do." 

I knew the catheter ablation would be the best thing for me and for my body.  
It was time to get this thing scheduled and put it behind me once and for all. 

From Cardiologists to Electrophysiologists.

Let's get a little sidetracked for a bit. Ever since I was in high school I would get these really scary heart palpitations, especially when I played tennis.  It was so scary.  In highschool, my coach sent me to the ER one day after practice to get checked after I had an episode.  The ER just said that my potassium was critically low, and my sodium was low.  So from then on, I ate more bananas and didn't think too much about it.  I mean, I was young so I didn't think it could be anything too serious or something to be concerned about. After high school  I lived with this for another 10 years or so.  When I started trying to have a baby, I decided to go see a cardiologist just to make sure everything was going to be ok.  The first thing they ask you is if you drink energy drinks.  They did an EKG and that came back normal.  So then the doctor ordered me to have a stress test done, and an echo of my heart.  Everything came back just fine.  So he then ordered me to wear a halter heart monitor for 48 hours to see if we could catch an episode on there.  Nothing.  The only thing that the monitor caught was when I took a flight of stairs, my heart beat an extra beat.  The doctor said this took place in the upper chambers of my heart so it was nothing to be concerned about.  He basically told me that I was "High-Strung" and that I needed to just chill out...

As time went on, I would continue to get episodes.  Some worse than others.  Not too often, but I still got them.  I knew this wasn't just anxiety.  I just dealt with it.  I mean, I'm young and they had already run all these test on me, what else was there to do?  So it was 4 years later since I had seen the cardiologist, and I was at the gym.  I was on the treadmill and did like a 20 minute jog or so.  I was feeling a little anxious and when I was done I was just walking around to cool off and lower my heartrate.  Then BOOM, an episode happened.  Since my heart was already beating so fast from running, it was so much more intense.  I sat on the mats and just tried to breathe it out like I usually do.  I really thought I was going to die.  I can usually break the episodes and I just couldn't break it.  One of the gym employees came to check on me and brought me some ice packs to cool off.  Finally after what seemed like an eternity, it was gone.  I sat on the mats for a while and just tried to relax.  When I felt ok, I immediately left to go home.  

All I could think about was how scary that episode was.  I just had a gut feeling that I needed to see another doctor.  What if that were to happen when I was pregnant or in labor!  I just couldn't bear the thought, I was now terrified.  This was NOT anxiety.  I knew I had something wrong with me.  I decided to get a second opinion and made an appointment with another cardiologist.  It was my dad's doctor and he is suppose to be one of the best in the business.   

So I meet up with Dr. Nadir Ali.  I was soooo nervous.  I had told my fertility doctor what was going on and he agree'd that it would be best to find out what is going on, especially because I could possibly be pregnant considering we were in the midst of a cycle.  (He didn't seem too worried though.)  So I sat there and explained to Dr. Ali what was going on.  He said that he would not be repeating any of the test I had previously taken, because at my age, nothing should have changed in a 4 year time span.  He said without hesitation.... "You have a classic case of SVT".  

SVT stands for Supraventricular Tachycardia.  This means that from time to time your heart beats very fast for a reason other than exercise, high fever, or stress. For most people who have SVT, the heart still works normally to pump blood through the body.  During an episode of SVT, the heart's electrical system doesn't work right, causing the heart to beat very fast.  Most episodes of SVT are caused by faulty electrical connections in the heart. 

What did that even mean?!?!  He asked me if I had ever been pregnant, and I said no.  Then he said that pregnancy puts a lot of pressure on the heart.   I just sat there so scared.  He drew some things up on a piece a paper for me and explained to me what SVT was. I asked him if this is something that I should be really concerned about and he told me that it is something that can be cured.  At that point, he told me that he was like the "plumber" of the heart, and I needed to see an "electrician" of the heart.... so now I was off to see an Electrophysiologist.  

Cycle Day 16: Progesterone Begins

It was Cycle Day 16 and we were going to start the Progesterone suppositories to support the potential pregnancy.  We were still waiting to have our Beta done, but we were doing whatever we needed to do to support what could be happening. 

April 23, 2014: Time to Trigger!

Well, here are are!! It was Cycle Day 12, and it was Trigger time! :)  I was so excited.  This could be it!!  My dreams could finally be coming true!    This injection, formally called Ovidrel, was a breeze.  It was also done in my abdomen and did not hurt one single bit.  I mean, I didn't even feel it!  After this, it would literally be just a waiting game, with some occasional bloodwork to check my progesterone and estrogen levels.  Let's do this!!!

April 22, 2014: Follicle Ultrasound and Bloodwork

Today was the day!  I would be getting to see my follicles through ultrasound and getting some bloodwork done to check the progress of this cycle.  I was a little nervous becaue you cannot control which side ovulates during these medicated cycles.  I was praying the follicles would be on my left side.  My right side always had a cyst and some issues going on.  ALWAYS...  We were in luck!!! I ovulated on my left side, which was exactly what we needed and prayed for!  Everything was looking great and we were ready to schedule the trigger shot!  The follicles were where they needed to be and we were right on track.  :)

April 21, 2014: Menopur Injection

I had finished the Letrozole pills, and it was now time for my Menopur injection into my abdomen.  This was going to stimulate my follicles to grow.  Grow follies grow!!  Let me just say that this sucker BURNED.  For about a week after the injection I could not touch the injection site.  After this, I would have an ultrasound scheduled and some bloodwork done to see how successful the Menopur injection was. 

Infertility Awareness Week and CORM Support Group!

 Infertility Awareness Week!

This is what infertility looks like...

We are 1 in 8

 

During Infertility Awareness Week, I was asked to host the Support Group that the Center of Reproductive Medicine was holding!  It was such a great experience to share stories and meet others who were going through the same battle.  Thank you CORM for the experience!

Another Round!

The time had finally come.  I was about to start another round of fertility medications.  I was so nervous to begin doing shots for the first time.  

Basically the meds would be assisting in my body conceiving by doing the following...
The Letrozole is a pill that is basically used to create ovarian stimulation, which makes my body produce multiple follicles and helps them to grow.  Alot of women take this for menopause or after they have gone through surgery for breast cancer.  Weird...I know.  The second drug used in the cycle is an injection called Menopur.  Girls in the infertility community called this one the 'devil's tears'.  Because it BURRNNNSSS.  Menopur stimulates the follicles to grow.  And lastly is the "trigger" shot.  This one is called Ovidrel.  Ovidrel assists in the final maturation of the follicles and triggers the release of the mature eggs from the follicles.  This always has to be done at the perfect time.  The follicles cannot be too young, or too mature.  They have to be just right.  :)

I was so excited. I had my syringes, drugs, and sharps container, and I was ready to go!  The nurses had me watch some online videos on self injecting, and had me show them that I knew what I was doing.  I also had to learn how to mix the drugs to achieve the proper amounts needed.  It was go time.  Depending on the drug, some had to be kept refrigerated, and then taken out and brought to room temperature before administering.  

                                                          It was go time!

Feeling the Love

After an emotionally stressful and draining day, I came home to a thoughtful and loving package from one of my TTC Sisters on Instagtram.  Thank you for the love Meagan! :)

 

April 14, 2014: Cycle 1, Cycle Day 3

It was finally time!! We were able to start trying again!!  This would be our first cycle to try after my second procedure.  I would be doing Letrozole, Menopur, and Ovidrel with scheduled intercourse.  I had to call the doctor when I started my cycle and be in their office by cycle day 3. So here I was!  I had to do my baseline ultrasounds and bloodwork.  It had been about 4 weeks since my surgery and I was so excited that the time had come and how fast it had all flown by.  They complete my bloodwork like a breeze.  That's never the hard part.  What is nerve wrecking are the ultrasounds.  So they began doing my ultrasounds and it was so uncomfortable.  I just had a bit of a feeling because this is just all too familiar.  Sure enough... the cyst was back.  WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!??!?!  It had only been 4 weeks since my surgery for goodness sakes and the cyst was already back!!!!  How is this even happening??  My mom looked so disappointed.  She said you could see the emotion all over my face.  I couldn't believe the cyst was back.  I was fighting back the tears more than ever so this lady could finish my ultrasounds.  The nurse said that there was a chance that my cycle would be cancelled because of this.  I was coming up with anything I could to try to convince her that everything was ok, and I wanted to start no matter what.  She said that it would ultimately be up to the doctor.  I told her that we would not be using the right side to conceive, due to what he found during surgery.  We would solely be relying on the left side to get pregnant, so it should be ok....right?  The ultrasounds were over.  The nurse told me to keep my Letrozole medication with me just in case I got the all clear.  I was instructed to start the Letrozole by 4pm if the doctor did not call me to cancel my cycle.  He would be reviewing the ultrasounds and bloodwork and making a decision on whether or not I could continue with this cyst present.  All I could do is wait.  That was one of the longest days ever.  I barely managed to pull myself together to walk into work after that appointment.  The minute the girls asked me how things went, I lost it.  I just needed time to process things, and clear my head, and all I could think about was the doctor possibly calling to cancel my cycle.  I'm pretty sure I checked my phone every 5 minutes to see if he had called.  No call.  Finally, it was almost 4 o'clock and the doctor never called!!  That means I was cleared to start treatment!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! :) :)  At 5pm, I took my first Letrozole. 

 

Keep It Going

     When going through such a difficult time, you must find your faith, peace, happiness, joy and hope.  It is important to find ways to pull through.  It's definitely ok to have your bad days.....  you're allowed to.  Allow yourself to cry, and breakdown. BUT... find a stopping point and move on.  You just have to find a way to smile and keep going everyday.  My place of peace is the beach.  My husband knows how much I love to be on the water, so I love it when he takes me there.  I zone out.  Just sit there.  Breathe deeply.  Absorb nature and all it's beauty.  Be happy.    #Faith

Gifts of Love From Co-Workers

This is the gift basket that my friends at Macy's gave to me when I returned back to work!! I was in tears reading their sweet messages of love and support.  I am so very blessed to have such great, loving, and caring people in my life and my place of work. 

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU

 

Daily Motivation #19

April 4, 2014: Post-Op Appointment!

     It was finally my post-op!!  It seemed like it had been forever since my surgery.  I was still recovering but each day I was feeling better and better.  I told the doctor that I was still in some discomfort on my right side.  I wasn't sure what it was, but I told him that the only way I could describe it was by comparing it to an ovarian cyst.  He told me that he thinks that I will have a little pain and discomfort for the rest of my life there.  He said that when they went in to do surgery they noticed that my ovary was not in the correct position.  It was sitting in this little shelf extremely close to the tube that connects your bladder to your kidneys.  He said that the position it is in, will most likely cause the discomfort that I am feeling from here on out, and most likely it was something I was born with.  This could happen with an infection, but I don't have enough scar tissue in that area to make him believe so.  It was just my anatomy.  With that being said, if I were to ever have to do IVF, they may not be able to use that particular ovary to retrieve eggs from.  It was just too close to other things and it could not be moved out of that position.  It was just too risky.  He said to do IVF and utilize that ovary, they would probably have to do things a bit differently as a precaution, for example like possibly go through my stomach. 
   The doctor said that he was a bit shocked when he went in to remove the wall of the cyst.  When he cut it open, he expected to see my ovary because we were under the impression that it was an ovarian cyst.  Well....it wasn't.  When he cut it open, fluid gushed out.  It was a different type of cyst!!!!  See what had happened was.... scar tissue from my previous surgery formed to my body and then filled up with fluids.  This explains why the "ovarian" cyst never shrunk with all the birth control attempts.  That's because it was something different and not something that would respond to birth control.  Just my luck, right?!
     My incisions were looking great!!  I had to have two cycles before I was able to try to conceive again.  So it was just a bit of a waiting period which was fine, because it gave my body time to heal itself.   I was excited that things were going well and I had another procedure behind me. 

  This is my right ovary in the improper position.   All tucked inside its own little space. 

         The tube you see to the left of it is what connects your bladder to your kidneys. 

 This is my left ovary and what the right one should look like.  Hanging out in the abdomen in the proper position. 

Keep it Moving & Embrace the Process

                         Embracing the process in order to find peace and happiness. 

The Healing Continues... :)

During my healing I had the best friends and family members taking so much time out of their day to take care of my and make sure that I had everything that I needed.  Their love and support is so endless and it means so much to me.  I seriously don't know what I would do without some of them.  My niece and nephew even surprised me and came over to snuggle and we watched Frozen together.  My brother even cooked for me!  Thanks a million for all of the unconditional love. :)
 

 

 

Post-Operative Healing & Recovery

I was home from surgery.  Although this surgery was very similar to my previous operation, the healing and recovery felt a bit different.  I felt more drained from this one for some reason.  Maybe it was the medications used, and maybe that's why my recovery time was so much longer.  The pain from the gas was making me miserable.  I woke up the next day in tears from the pain.  I don't take pain medicine, so I just endured the pain and tried to sleep it off.  The gas continued to travel up my body and into my neck.  No position was comfortable.  Not laying, sitting up, walking, showering, nothing.  It would just take time.  One of the great things about this procedure is that they just re-opened my previous incisions, instead of creating new ones.  I couldn't wait for my post-op appointment to find out all of the details.  So for the next couple of weeks, I would be resting and relaxing. 

                                 

                                   Post- Surgery bloat from the CO2 Gas inflated into my abdomen

 

                           

                                                                              The first look at my stomach

                                                   One of my incisions and post operative bruising

                                                                        Post surgery stomach & bloating

                               My babies taking good care of their momma and keeping me company :)