Moving Forward & Inspiration

     I was about to leave that appointment with such a weight on my shoulders and a heavy heart.  I knew I just had to keep things moving because I didn't have a choice but to be strong.  It's all I had left in me.  I had almost forgot that before I left the office that day, one of the girls in the marketing department wanted to meet me.  Her name was Angelica.  So before I left, we met in an office.  She is one of the sweetest, most kind, and warm-hearted person I've ever met.  She told me that the clinic would like to sponsor all of my teams shirts for the upcoming Texas Walk of Hope.  It was a walk for infertility that I had registered for and had been promoting to all of my friends and family to participate in whether it be by walking, or making a donation.  This was so exciting!  Not only that, they would like me to host one of their Support Group meetings during Infertility Awareness Week in April.  It is basically an open atmosphere for couples to share their stories about their struggles with infertility, and they wanted me of all people to lead the group!  To top it off, they wanted to feature my blog on the Center of Reproductive Medicine's website!!! Angelica said that she had read my entire blog and she just absolutely loved it. They thought that what I was doing by sharing my story was so inspirational and could help others who are struggling as well.  There are many people who are in the infertility closet.  Let me tell you, it takes ALOT to get out of that space.  I chose to share my story because it was an outlet for me to relieve the pressure of this journey, but mostly to help others who are still struggling privately.  It has been a release for me.  Through all of this, I never thought that my fertility clinic would jump on board with me and help me, to help others. Before leaving the room, Angelica gave me a book that they gave away at their last support group meeting.  It was called "Love & Infertility". 

     When I finally left the doctor's office, Olivia and I went to Starbucks for some coffee and to talk about things.  Sitting at the bar, drinking our coffee, I looked up to find inspiration staring me right in the face.  There was a napkin pinned to a bulletin board with these words written on it.... "Take What You Need".   Hanging from the napkin were little sticks for you to choose from.  They were: Love, Direction, Strength....and the others had already been taken by people who had previously came across this piece of inspiration.  I chose STRENGTH.  It was exactly what I needed at that exact moment.  I don't think it was a coincidence.  I was meant to find this little stick of strength.  From that moment on, I had hope.  

    This journey is painful.  Emotionally and physically.  After years and years of tests, surgeries, procedures, blood work, medications, and more... you don't know how much more you can take.  I honestly think that I was put in this situation for multiple reasons, and one of those reasons is to help others. I was meant to reach out and help others, even if they are privately struggling.  I can be their outlet and their release.  I can be their little stick of strength when they need it most.